Tuesday, October 31, 2006

...Happy Halloween Y'all...








Excuse me while I wax lyrical about my first Halloween evah.

So in defiance of our shitty schedules that involve working from 7am every Saturday and Sunday...myself and 2 of my English boys headed into the great unknown of a halloween party at an underground goth club here in Osaka town...

Smoke billowing, gothic industrial playing on the decks....meter high hairs...chains out of eyes...
Everyone dressed as antique russian dolls in ornate gowns of gold and red, a bondage mat hatters tea party dancing in slow motion...a sea of snake tatoos, red cheeks, dainty hands and mock fighting. Top hats, velvet, leather, whips...ballgowns, sunglasses, pigtails....glitter.

The word random is no longer in my vocabulary in this place (a shock I know) there is no longer any random moments in Japan....it just is. So anyway...created my goth gypsie look that convieniently can go from club to work...












made friends with scary sweethearts...subtly gawked at the fashions...enjoyed girl talk with the queen bees in the bathroom...feeling like guests at a secret party.
The truly surreal moment was when the live act came on...a bizarre canadian lady with a synthersizer and giant pigtails presenting songs that were not unlike subliminal english lessons...nothing would suprise me anymore. So we all bopped away like poppy teenagers forgetting goth angst for a couple of hours before the smoky magic atmosphere returned again.

So highlights...well the whole night was a definate going out highlight, so exciting to be a normal person on a Saturday night with the masses and shocked it has taken us 7 weeks to do this...

Highlight number one...returning from the ladies room to discover every person from the dance floor now crowded into the bar chatting and laughing not unlike at a church potluck....

....eating free spaghetti with chopsticks.

If I may be permitted to use the word random once this may have been one of the top 3 most random moments in my life...goth club...osaka...spaghetti...3am. It was very beautiful and incredibly surreal. I get accused of bastardising these words surreal and random but it really was! The people here are so beautiful, I mean really. I finished my plate and looked around where to put it when my friend nudged me to say an enchanting boy in a velvet matrix jacket, oversized lace cravet and chains from holes in his cheek wanted to take my plate and put it in the bin. So touched and such a sweetheart. I was a slightly naughty gaijin and bummed a smoke just to see if my new enchanting friend would light it. He did. So yay I got to use more of the 11 words I know.

We have student files that include the reasons they study english...I have always laughed at the urbane comments including 'one time I was at universal studios and I couldn't understand the tour guide' But I swear in that moment I wanted and still want to learn Japanese just so I could communicate with that beautiful boy.

As far as I'm concerned alot will have to happen in my life to top that spaghetti moment. But it's still not that suprising, expect the unexpected is the only motto to life here.

Highlight number 2 not that amusing but quite enchanting...dancing in the smoke with my new goth friends when the DJ mixed in the phantom of the opera aria...an incredibly haunting, eerie and perfect 10 minutes...I know damo/davie that it probably was shitty djing to do that but never has a moment in our life soundtrack been so appropriate...

It was finally time to end...5am subway opens...eating greatest chutney/pork/boiled egg sandwich of all time...run the 5 mts home from the station and another random moment...guy sitting in my foyer says 'I can speak english' after my panicked Sunnimasen! AKA get outta my way I am gonna be late for work and have to look like a skank all day. That was the first stranger that has talked to me in english the whole time basically. I was so shocked all I could say was 'um How are you?'


And with a change back into my Clark Kent gear another day dawned...


5am Station Shot

Monday, October 30, 2006

To Much To Adore






More joyus photos from my home...Tried to explain to a student today why I compare my impressions of Japan to a tea towel picture...

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Suggestions Kudisai

I need a manga porn name





CLM x

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Musings and Lovings

Hello World, How are we all?

I am doing great, the secret plan to being completely content and joyful here in 3 easy steps...
No prior expectations/thinking it would be a nightmare + Everything is Cool mantra + forcing yourself to be a tourist on days off = joyful relaxing contentment....
I'm in love with my city...
I know I am alot luckier than some here, I am yet to have something go wrong.. I have people who feel like family and listen to my shit and make me dinner and pour me drinks...I have buddies to laugh with all day at work who make me read out my current novel which is basically soft porn set in a maple syrup shed...I can hide from my students 70% of the lesson...my trainer thinks I am hilarious even if I am a disaster...I have multiple couches all aruond the city to watch tv on and crash on..I have magical days exploring in the sunshine with just me and john mayer...I have sweet guys that give me bear hugs and lend me umbrellas...I have some girlfriends to tell dating stories to...I have an Italian to brew me espresso...everyone thinks I am a good karoke singer!...I have fed wild animals...the shoes fit...hot japanese guys wink at me...I don't have to remember to pay the rent...our handyman wears a suit...the baker gives me free cupcakes when I buy my bread! I don't notice the city noise...I know where to find trees if I want them...
One of my favourite questions for students that you fellow culture nerds will appreciate is 'how do you feel Japanese culture is similar to other collectivist cultures' The resounding answer is similarities especially to Spanish/Italian culture. This is never seen more than when I walk through the never ending mall, about 2 km covered mall with shanty town styles...
The traditional okinomoyaki stands (local omlette delicacy) fry their patties all day...the hotplate at the start and end of the day is a gleaming mirror thanks to the hours of scraping. The old women and ancient men gather at each vegetable stand to chew the fat and discuss the cabbages. The old con men sell their overpriced second hand goods from card tables..I slowly scan (but never stopping) for the chanel purse I know will be there one day. Customers reach into giant vats of brine for gleaming cubes of fresh tofu...the fish mongers laugh and reposition their catch on rustic ice. The dog hair salons are a bustling hub, a cacophony of poodle barking, and old woman cackling..Designer mothers whizz by with 3 toddlers precariously balanced on the bike...I now view every mother as rich or struggling to make ends meet and every woman with a baby differently. Is she happy? Is she too worried about getting into 4 year old cram school? Will her child join the blue collar masses that is the future of this country? My fabulous students sharing their beliefs is a key basis for shaping my Japanese psyche. Most of them cannot afford to ever have a baby even with 2 incomes. The ones that have 1 child now lay awake at nights worrying about their future.
So much food for thought in this country in terms of sociology...I can't cope with starting to dissect the international politics... The aging population and lack of university opportunities will grossy affect this place soon and the peeps are nervous.
In non eloquent thoughts...went to Himijei castle yesterday which was a feat to a) use our thursday for something other than recovering from karoke b) go on a 1 hour train trip and enjoy a cultural experience while quite hungover. It was my first tourist trip with friends, usually its just me and my music. But it was fun to share a day trip with some of my favourite people here. The day before enjoyed the flower festival at Osaka castle and viewing the crazy shit 5000 year time capsule. Happy New Year everyone 6278! Bloody hell thats the usual optimism for you.
Off to the 100 Yen shop to buy a 500 yen money box...my first attempt at savings since I was 17 and stretched that woolworths wage into my mini digital tv and the red rocket-the sigma!
Quote of the week, in honour of Brooke 'No Scribbles Here' (inside of castle)
For the grownups...favourite tshirt of the week 'F... me like you hate me' (seen on middle aged mother)
Can't remember who has this address...actually I doubt anyone remembers to check given my terrible blogger status in recent times!
Love youse all,
CLM

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Pictures say a million words






I really do adore this city...
yes the lady is wearing a beer keg on her head....
the goodness of 70 lemons counteracts the beer...
trip to umeda station-$6, time taken-1 hour, able to buy english speaking magazine-priceless...
enjoying the greatest international beer summit of all time...kompai!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I know, I know

I am a terrible blogger! I used to be great, I blame it all on the absence of net at home...yeah that's gotta be it.

The Osaka Misadventure continues with the first month anniversary this friday..as always I could have been here 10 years or 2 minutes, time flies and feels like yesterday all at once like it usually does.

Feel like I had my first bizarre japanese experience yesterday. I got my usual 15 minute shiatsu massage for my rage inducing, fking futon related neck pain...They usually make a fuss of me at the best of times and even run off to find this random english speaking man to check my massage is ok. They neednt bother, I know exactly what the guy is saying to me in japanese, its the same as my man in the wintergarden...how's the pressure...where is it sore...is that height ok?...Anyway this time after the usual 10 mins of small bowing and arrigatos and tea drinking tea they helped me with my jacket and I went on my merry way....only to glance back at all the workers having run out of the store to do a full bow at me as I walked away..truly surreal a) the fact they were nearly on the ground and b) had left the store....Must have really appreciated that AUD16.00...Can only imagine my multiple pearl accessories and sharp suit have totally given the wrong rich foreigner impression. Unfortunately all my psuedo rich westerner friends and I do look the part spending each day going out after work in our sharp outfits required to earn minimum wage...

Things I love about this place...

You can smoke in McDonalds

The fast food place in Nara features a grand piano

If the little train man sees you running he will HOLD THE TRAIN FOR YOU

Its easy to pretend they are staring because you are hawt

Old people are scared of me

4am in the subway station is the safest place I could imagine

You can ride bikes on the footpath

The entire society is devoted to owning and doing the hair of small dogs

Anyone under 40 is constantly practicing breakdancing

I live above a fire station

The junk food is what I would eat on a diet

Things I don't love about this place...

The elevator has no stopping mechanism if it feels something in its way...it will close on you. Correction it does close on me most days usually when I am trying to win brownie points with my neighbours for holding the lift.

Construction crews do psuedo new subway line work all night when I know damn well they are pretending to work in order to use up their budget to get new funding

I live above a firestation

There is a disproportionate amount of yelling for this supposedly (OMG 7 years of culture classes and I cannot remember the word!) culture

I am nearly killed by people riding bikes on the footpath

There are alot of funky smells, mostly as though the 1978 airconditioner needs replacing

I get tired from my mock bow slash curtsey to every passing shop owner, hawker

I will never again be able to shop without being bowed at and pampered. Even in Burberry where clearly I have no business being. Although have already picked out my if I survive the year gifts to self...

Later Yall
CLM xxx